Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
