If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
