i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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