Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
