I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
