chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
