Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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