chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
