maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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