i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
