Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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