remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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