he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
