You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
