just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
