Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
