Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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