That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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