Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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