Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
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You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
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Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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