Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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