matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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