i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
