i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Bring me that man meat
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
