did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
