we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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