South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
