I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
