fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
