I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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