nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
