fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
