p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
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I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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