Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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