Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
