11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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