turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
