So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
