dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
