why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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