i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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