Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
