I smell stomach acid.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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