I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Quick, to the slutcave!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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