Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
