I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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