textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
