You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
