She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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