I'm going to jail i love you
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I touched a dick in church today
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
