Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
