I am in a vortex of obligation.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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