my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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