After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
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You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
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I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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