i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
soo... how was my night?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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