Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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