brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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