my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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