loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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