Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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