so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize